hearts together as one;

Faithbook

” why check Facebook? Have you checked your Faithbook today? ” - Mrs Goh

its nice and comforting to know someone who is able to encourage me and support me all the way not because she feels like, but because we share the same faith and beliefs. That’s why i believe that God puts various people in my life at various times to teach me vital lessons. 

hmm, today, i realised the importance of communication. No, i don’t mean communication through facebook, twitter, msn and all the social platforms. I mean, sitting down and talk it out. i used to be very daunted by the idea of thrashing things / sorting things out with people face to face because i am a very emotional person. HAHAHA YES. is that a bad thing? you be the judge. anyway, i cry when i feel helpless ( angry, sad, random emotions ) and hence, i really hate to confront others, even when i feel wronged. So what do i do? I TOLERATE. I really do. i don’t tell others how i really really feel but i just keep it all to myself, which is a bad thing because when i explode, i really explode. yeah, and today had to be the day. i am thoroughly disgraced by my actions of acting like a lunatic when my emotions consume me ( DO NOT ASK FOR DETAILS ) but i really did not know how to control myself then. 

so, back to the point of communication. i think it is very important as if gives EVERYBODY a chance to voice out their own opinions, views, perceptions rather than to just assume and go crazy. its not good for the mental health and the relationships between people when such things occur. The process of it all may not be too pleasing to everybody, especially with all the different emotions involved, but at the end of the day, you are able to heave a sigh of relief. why? because the misunderstanding is cleared and you are able to actually realise that it was actually a very trivial matter. :)) 

Apology. in such cases where you have to thrash things out, things must have already escalated to a certain extent where feelings of hatred and whatever comes in. when that happens, we normally only think about justifying our own actions and even shirking the responsibility for the things we say. I’m sure that not everyone does this and i’m not condemning it because this is human instinct! that’s why there’s this ” flight of fight ” thing when you get an adrenaline rush! okay, so when we start thinking ” i’m gonna protect myself first ” and be so self centered, we tend to twist words and all. 

One thing i have learnt throughout the short 15 and 5 months of my life, is that, everyone can shirk responsibility but it takes real courage to reflect upon our actions and to really realise that we are truly at fault. When that happens, one cannot help but apologise, sincerely and wholeheartedly. what’s ” i’m sorry ” if i say it and i don’t mean it one bit? they are just mere spoken words. But, when you really mean it, they are words spoken to restore relationships and they help to make you a more mature person! 

it really takes a lot of courage to say sorry. i say this because i myself find it very difficult to apologise because i used to think that if i were to apologise first, i would lose the ’ fight ‘. 

now that i’m slightly older and not very mature yet but, i have come to see that such arguments and conflicts are not about who can shout the loudest, spew the most vulgarity or be the most defensive, its all about a time of reflecting on our own actions and realising the mistakes we have all made. It always takes 2 hands to clap.

so, life is not about a fight, about who has the nicest face, nicest body, best vocabulary of vulgarity or who can argue the most, but its all about the inner man.

remember, God sees YOUR HEART. and that’s all the matters to me. 

Reflect

So, it has been 4 months into 2012, and that is like 1/3 of the year gone.
So I guess it’s only appropriate to reflect on the past few months and then set goals for the months to come!

Firstly, these 4 months have been a time of joy, laughter, stepping out of my comfort zone, making new ( proper ) friends after 4 years, and not forgetting, conflicts.

So, after the immersion trip to china last nov ( in case you didn’t know, yes I went to China, Xi An ) and last youth conference, I finally saw the need to step out of my comfort zone and to talk to more people. Not to be a hypocrite, but to create more chances for me to share the gospel and my faith!! These are tiny baby steps ok! :)

I talked to more people in class, like a lott more. Let me name a few : Geraldine, Nicolette, Hillary, Yao Feng, Guo Yi, Charlene, Poh Gek, Hui Ling, Niudi and the list goes on. I also talked to people I had already made friends with but weren’t as close, such as Charlotte and Lau Jia Hui. It took me 3 years to realise how stuck up I was ( yes I was stuck up, note the tense ) when I refused to talk to my classmates, judging them before even getting to know them. This led to a lot of people disliking me ( unfortunately ) and me disliking them. It’s like a vicious cycle but I’m glad things CHANGED this year. Not only have we talked a little bit more, we’ve also become good friends who spend a lot of time together during recess, lunch, staying back after IRP to cam whore. These are the people and the memories I would keep even after leaving Bendemeer.

Conflicts. Conflicts between people are inevitable, I admit. But if everyone is gonna just focus on themselves all the time, then who is going to give in? Dad is right, i should not judge others no matter how terrible they are. I mean, I’m not perfect, and not anywhere perfect so who or what gives me the right to judge? I don’t care what you say about me, at least I try not to be bothered by such redundant comments, but if you keep wanting to find fault with me or people close to me, then I’m sorry! We are definitely not gonna tolerate these crap if you keep pushing the limit. Before you think you’re so great and almighty who thinks spewing profanity is cool, stop and think about how this portrays your character and your moral upbringing,

Studies. Urgh, O levels are in less than a 100 days and in panicking, literally!! But im not starting anything ( and i’m not proud of it ) and I’m not doing well in school either. My chemistry is like crap. But thank God for small blessings, my physics have been improving! ;)

To all who are gonna face PSLE, O levels, A levels, IB exam and whatnot, all the best and 加油!!